This is Adam.

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Cameron has been playing MTG since Rise of the Eldrazi and has been good at quote-unquote 'real formats' for approximately none of that time. His odds of success are directly inverse to what is on the line. Pressed for comment after his debut at Bummerslam, he mumbled something unintelligible about Fae of Wishes being a good magic card and left.

Catherine is a six-time Jank City champion, winning back-to-back events in 2019, inducing the mad-scientist death march known as the Mayor's Triathlon. She followed that up with a decisive win at Jank City 7, becoming only the second player ever to win six straight games en route to an event win. The secret to her success? You know that low, sub-sonic rumble you feel while sitting across from her at the table? That's the awesome, intimidating aura of Vulcan's Hammer, which she can 100% wield, by the way; don't worry about it. Oh! And skill. Cat is good at Magic.

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"As with any resource we treasure, a Magic format that is inaccessible to a player because it is prohibitively expensive or subject to the whims of a secondary market is most emphatically not a format of the people. It is our firm belief that a true representative format accounts for the thousands of cards unceremoniously cast aside by the formats of the bourgeoisie. While they gorge themselves on bread, we round up the chaff to feed the livestock and till the soil, so our game can evolve in ways that surprise even us! Let this be as true far in the future as it is today: jank draft is the format of the people."

—Epigram at City Hall, dated 21 July 2018

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Ethan wears many hats in the Jank City universe. He is a three-time* Champion. He is also Jank City's resident iron man, being the only player other than founder/organizer Derek Godin to participate in each event. As a further testament to his longevity, he is the first player to reach 100 sanctioned Jank City games, reaching the milestone at Jank City XIV. Last but not least, he is Jank City's digital archivist and webmaster, pulling the levers behind the scenes to make sure everything runs smoothly.

*One of these wins is not like the others. Ethan piloted a deck drafted by Catherine Maggiori to a contentious victory in Jank City XXIII.

"EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS JANK CITY 8 AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE ÉTIENNE MOLGAT LAURIN. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I WINDMILL SLAM THAT PACK ONE PICK ONE OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP THE TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY HAD THE BEST EVENT SCORE IN THEIR MAIDEN JANK CITY TOURNAMENT. HE CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO MY FREINDS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE THAT SOMETIMES FRIENDS ARE MEAN. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE PLAYS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY HOLLERING THEM ALL AT MY CAT. 5 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT."

—posted to r/jankcity by u/giantcocktopus, 4 October 2019

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Neil enjoys thinking about tron lands, and playing strategy games like Hearthstone, Yugioh Duel Links, and Teamfight Tactics.

He started playing Magic during Betrayers of Kamigawa, and has been good at it for the exact duration of two Jank Cities. As always, Neil will do his best to pick good cards, not pick bad cards, and identify copies of Wild Mongrel.

Noah Century is, quite simply, the greatest champion Jank City will ever know. As one of the members that has witnessed its creation, Noah has a great respect for the design of its Lord Mayor and Creator, Derek. Clearly, this design included a ladder of power, upon which Noah belonged at the top. But this rightful order has been repeatedly challenged with new contenders and false champions, deluded into thinking they have the power to sit where only the greatest deserve to. Noah welcomes these contenders as an additional challenge to overcome on his quest to reclaim his rightful place as the champion of Jank City, a place which has been so woefully denied to him recently through fluke and a poorly managed schedule. For his victory shall taste all the sweeter if more pretenders need to be crushed on the road to achieve it.

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Began his Jank journey thanks to Neil, to whom he owes all his draft knowledge, and met with middling results. He vanished to the Canadian high Arctic, training in secret with Catherine, but was again met with middling results. His true power was only unlocked after eating an entire bucket of leftover (risky) pasta salad at Jank City XII, winning him his first belt. He won his second by defeating his Neil-sensei in the finals of Jank City XIV. Now, ready to fulfill his destiny, he will not rest until Noah’s name is erased from the front page of the website!

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