Etienne Molgat Laurin
- Days as Champion: 0 days
- Successful Defenses: 0
- Game Win Percentage: 49.206%
- Match Win Percentage: 46.429%
"EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS JANK CITY 8 AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE ÉTIENNE MOLGAT LAURIN. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I WINDMILL SLAM THAT PACK ONE PICK ONE OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP THE TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY HAD THE BEST EVENT SCORE IN THEIR MAIDEN JANK CITY TOURNAMENT. HE CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO MY FREINDS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE THAT SOMETIMES FRIENDS ARE MEAN. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE PLAYS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY HOLLERING THEM ALL AT MY CAT. 5 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT."
—posted to r/jankcity by u/giantcocktopus, 4 October 2019